The Modesty Panel: I’m fat and ain’t no body telling me what to do

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This post is part of The Modesty Panel, a series focusing on the concept of modesty from the perspectives of various bra bloggers. Each of us has experiences, beliefs and assumptions about modesty that influence how we blog about breasts, and this week we are taking the time to share our views. Make sure to check some of the other posts out!

 

modestypic

 

I’ve been thinking for a while (since the idea came up to do this “event”) about what modesty means to me….as a woman, as a human, as a blogger, etc…

I’ve shared at great length my own personal story about coming to accept my own bustiness, so I won’t rehash all of that here again.

When I think of what the word modesty means, I’m struck with the overwhelming sense that there’s no real way to define what modesty means. It’s a very subjective word that applies to how we dress, how we talk, how we interact with others, and how we talk about ourselves. To me, modesty means putting someone else’s feelings and concerns before your own happiness. Instead of choosing to wear what we like and what we think looks good on us, we might choose to wear something that is more “modest” and socially acceptable. Instead of saying that we love a lot of good sex, we’ll err on the side of modesty and not even talk about our sexuality for fear of “slut shaming”. Instead of bragging about an accomplishment that we worked hard to achieve, we go the modest route and try not to sound too self-centered.

I’ll concede that there is a time and a place for modesty; but there is also a time and a place for NO modesty.

Originally I wanted to write a post about modesty from my perspective as a fat woman….but I feel like that is too cliche. Not to downplay reality, I grew up fat. People made fun of me. I’ve always been big. My older brothers picked on me and would tell me that my clothes were painted on. Or that I looked gross and needed to change my clothes. My parents never once told me that I was beautiful. I don’t mean to be flippant about it, but I was basically bullied into covering up my body in such a way that wasn’t flattering due to the comments of those around me. I spent much of my early childhood and teenage years wearing clothes that were way too big and did nothing to show off my body (and let’s be honest, when I was a teenager, I was around 60 pounds lighter than I am now and I would TOTALLY rock the hell out of that body right now).

But here I am now. Still fat. Still have large boobs. Still have older brothers whom I’m sure live to torture me despite the fact that they are both almost 30 and it’s a little old now after almost 25 years of it. But what has changed is me. This post isn’t about self-esteem or body acceptance, but I do feel that those topics really go hand in hand with confidence as well as modesty. I’m at a point in my life where I’m going to do what I want because for so long I was trying to make other people happy. So if I want to wear dresses all the time (which I do), I’m going to do it. If I want to spend a half hour talking about my love of bra fitting, I’ll do it. If I want to share an accomplishment, I’m going to do it. Because that’s what makes me feel good.

Why should someone else’s ideas about modesty dictate my life? Should I be limited in any way because I am fat? Because I have large boobs? Because I am a woman? No. And neither should you :-)

For reference, I consider myself moderately modest. For example, today I went shopping  at Torrid and Lane Bryant and took my husband along, a little pre-birthday shopping. I tried on swimsuits, jeans, dresses, etc. I always stepped out into the hallway to get my husband’s opinion on things as he knows what I like and knows which things I buy and take home and either don’t wear or do wear. So he tries to give me pointers on things he knows will sit in the closet if I buy them.

Anyways, today I happened to try on a two piece bathing suit at Torrid. When I opened up the fitting room door, another couple was standing just outside of the fitting room area. The man in the other couple gave me a dirty look  like, “OH NO! FAT GIRL IN A BIKINI!!! GROSS!!”…..and I asked what my husband thought about it. He loved it. While I wasn’t a huge fan of the look of the swimsuit on me, I didn’t really care that I was fat, wearing a bikini, and was in public. Oh well. To the man that gave me the dirty look: Hello. You were in a clothing store for fat women. What did you expect? Of all places for me to NOT have to hide my body, being in a plus size clothing store is like coming home for a fat woman, so if you don’t like it, get the hell out :-)

I’m going to wrap this post up at this point because I’m tired and I’m not sure I’m making sense, but I do hope to elaborate on this topic more at some point.

Also, tomorrow is my 25th Birthday (May 18th), and I am going to rock the hell out of my quarter-century birthday with friends and this adorable dress:

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Image from Torrid.com

 

-Nicole

 

This blog is one of many that is participating in the Modesty Panel Series….Please check out the following links to read more great posts about Modesty :-)

Bras and Body Image

Boosaurus

Braless in Brasil

By Baby’s Rules

Contrary Kiwi

Hourglassy - Abreast Abroad

Hourglassy – Corporate Curves report

Hourglassy – Darlene

Miss Underpinnings

Red Hair and Girly Flair

Sophia Jenner

A Sophisticated Pair

That Bra Does Not Fit Her

The Tit Rambler

Thin and Curvy

Undiegamer

 

 

 

The modesty panel: Why I choose not to cover up.

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A group of bloggers, including both Nicole and I, have teamed up to tackle the issue of modesty, and what it means to all of us. There are lots of different perspectives from lots of different women, covering sensitive topics that may be offensive to some people. This is my perspective and my opinion, and I do not mean to offend anyone but I make no apologies for what I am about to say.

modestypic

When I first decided I wanted to participate in these modesty posts, I thought I was an outsider, I didn’t feel like I’d ever come across modesty issues or ever actively considered my own modesty. But then I realised, I have, it’s been there all along, masquerading as bitchy comments from friends, rude comments from strangers, school uniform rules and my own conscience for dressing ‘appropriately’. My own perspective here is difficult to define, I do not consider myself ‘immodest’, by my own standards, but that begs the question of what is modest and what is not, an answer unique to each of us. Compared to a lot of women, my hemlines are high and my necklines are low, I’m the girl that old ladies whisper and tut at, and I’m fine with that, in fact I have come to embrace it.

First of all, what I wear is very important to me, my clothes amass more than 4 double wardrobes full, and a new outfit is my ultimate pick-me-up. But my clothes do not define me in any way. I don’t choose clothes because of how revealing they are or aren’t, of the clothes I like and think look good on me, most happen to be short or tight, or low cut, and that’s okay. Some women prefer and feel better in loose cuts and long hemlines, and that’s okay too. I wear clothes that I feel comfortable in, if you put me in a full coverage maxi dress I am not going to be the confident, witty self I would be in a short body-con dress because that’s just not me.

I have not experienced all that many negative comments about my clothing choices, especially compared to the other bloggers in the modesty panel. Sometimes, people do stare at me, I understand that the way I dress does attract stares, especially from men, I’m not thrilled about it but it doesn’t bother me too much. Most of the actual comments that I have experienced, come from girl ‘friends’, advising me that I might want to change because my outfit presents an air of sexual promiscuity, or words to that effect. I’m a slut, I have no class, I’m not ‘girlfriend material’? Okay, what am I supposed to say to that, thanks?. I could go so much further into my views on this, but here is neither the time nor place, in a nutshell I refuse to be slut-shamed into covering up. I will cover up for other reasons, ones that I deem appropriate, but not this one.

I want to share the most recent negative comment that I overheard, and was probably one of the most hurtful, difficult for me to laugh off in my usual manner. I was recently on holiday, sitting in the bar in a cute (not particularly revealing) sundress having pre-dinner drinks. A family are sitting close by, mother father and two daughters, and the mother keeps giving me the stink eye- I ignore it. I had to walk past their table for the loos, as I pass she made eye contact with me and said  “attention seeking dressed like that, that’s what happens when their mothers don’t raise them properly” I was absolutely gobsmacked at this, for many reasons. Mostly outraged that she had just made a grown-woman version of the ‘yo mamma’ insult, but also sad for her daughters, no girl should grow up thinking that wearing a pretty dress is ‘attention seeking’.

 The ‘offending’ dressImage

My mum has had a big impact on the way I see modesty, and she really made sure it just wasn’t an issue for me growing up. I have never been told ‘you’re not going out in that!’ or the like. She has always understood that I express myself through my clothes, being there with a handy safety pin if a nip slip is imminent, but supportive of my choices. I grew up, and went through puberty, feeling proud of and happy with my body, and I am grateful for never having to feel ashamed of my body as a lot of fellow bloggers have. I often wonder if my self-confidence is what makes me dress more ‘immodestly’, but no, self-confidence gives me the assurance to dress however I want, regardless of how that is.

Some of the other modesty posts discuss feeling made to cover up by males, who are ‘distracted’ by female immodesty. So why have I rarely encountered this attitude? Why do I experience negativity mainly from other females? I live in England, where there is much less of a religious overtone to opinions on modesty at least compared to some of the US, and although attending catholic schools, I didn’t really have a religious upbringing and neither did the people around me.  The biggest issue with modesty that I have encountered is the attitudes at university, a ‘lad’ culture where slut-shaming and rape jokes are almost the norm. This is intertwined with modesty, many girls are made to feel like they can’t do right, covering up deems you a prude or ‘frigid’ whereas choosing to show skin makes you a ‘slut’. This mindset denies all women respect, it is one of general misogyny that goes way further than is relevant to this post but definitely affects how a lot of women see themselves, and it frightens me to think how accepted this is in some circles.

I have so much more to say, and I’d love to discuss this further, please take the time to read the other modesty panel posts because we all have differing perspectives. The truth is, from my point of view, my miniskirts and plunging necklines say nothing about my personality, my intelligence, or the cliché ‘how many people I’ve slept with’.  I am not seeking your attention, judgement or validation, I choose my outfits based on my taste and preferences, I’m used to the stares but please, keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself.

-Amy

Related posts:

Bras and Body Image

Boosaurus

Braless in Brasil

By Baby’s Rules

Contrary Kiwi

Hourglassy - Abreast Abroad

Hourglassy – Corporate Curves report

Hourglassy – Darlene

Miss Underpinnings

Red Hair and Girly Flair

Sophia Jenner

A Sophisticated Pair

That Bra Does Not Fit Her

The Tit Rambler

Thin and Curvy

Undiegamer

Upcoming Posts

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My deepest and sincerest apologies.

This is happening a lot lately. I feel like I fall completely off the face of the earth and come back swinging. It’s a cycle. I just finished a final about the overdiagnosis of ADD and ADHD in children, and am recuperating from getting our home ready to list on the market. There have been many sleep deprived nights, and lots of waking up early to work on my final.

I am so excited to announce that I will (pending admission) no longer be pursuing a PhD program, but will be pursuing yet another master’s degree so that I can get licensed in my home state. I’ve learned a lot so far at my new job ( I can’t believe it’s been 2.5 months) and I’m finding my passion and pursuing it.

Anyways, here’s what you can look forward to on the blog, from me, in the next couple weeks:

  • Curvy Kate Portia in Seafoam review
  • Bravissimo Darling Heart Review
  • Elomi Renee review
  • Elomi Rita review
  • Elomi Caitlyn review
  • Tutti Rouge Lilliana review
  • Updated Sculptresse Bellise review

And the grand event, THE MODESTY PANEL which starts and runs all of next week, May 13-17. A group of bloggers will be writing about their perspectives about modesty. Amy and I will both be writing posts about modesty, and we will be adamant about including links to other blogger’s posts.

Many thanks to Amy for keeping the blog alive :-)

 

-Nicole

Bikini round up: Freya

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My recent holiday was my first foray into the world of ‘properly fitted’ bikinis, and with Freya being my go-to brand for bras, they seemed the obvious choice for bikinis. Sizing with bikini tops isn’t as much of an issue for me as it is with bras, ‘near enough’ is fine for me but I’m a pretty lazy holidaymaker, my bikini tops aren’t tested half as much as my bras.  There’s the issue of a different fabric, I was advised to size up, stick with my size, and size down all by different people, because of the stretch of the material in bikini tops. I ended up with some size variations because I was sale shopping, but it seems that sticking with my bra size was the best thing to do.

I got;

Freya Lindy hop, 30FF top and XS bottoms, which I bought from large cup lingerie at a bargain price, but it’s discontinued and now difficult to get a hold of.

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The top is what I’d call a ‘bra bikini’, in shape, and fits similarly to a bra, the straps are fully adjustable and the bottoms are a ‘short’ kind of cut, maybe more high waisted than many bikini bottoms.

So at the time, the top seemed to fit just fine dry, but expanded a bit in water and the cups seemed a bit big when I got out of the pool. Bear in mind I was wearing a 28FF bra at this time, so I’m guessing that it’s pretty much true to size. I love the cut of the bottoms, I don’t like to be too exposed down there, these fit like a dream and I love them.

Freya Pier Red 28FF top and XS bottoms, which I bought in a facebook buy/sell group

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The top is a halter-style, fastens with a clip at the back and ties around the neck. The top fit perfectly and didn’t fluctuate in water like the Lindy Hop, the bottoms well, I probably should have gone up a size.

The ruffles still looked okay when wet, I half expected them to stick to my boobs at the first sign of water, but thankfully not.

Freya Kansas 30F top and XS bottoms, from asos

This is the same cut as the pier in the top, and the bottoms are lower cut with a thicker skirt along the top, cute. This was perhaps a little smaller than the Pier in the top, the 30F seemed to cut in slightly were the 28FF pier was fine. I didn’t actually get to road test this one, I maybe took too much advantage of the dinner buffets and the bottoms were less than flattering by the time I got round to wearing it. Oops.

Another holiday in 2 months (lucky me, I know) means I need some more bikinis, especially if I plan on eating a lot there…. I’m not convinced that I’m going to try any more Freya. I am a fan of lightly padded bikinis, I don’t like the ‘smuggling peanuts’ look on myself and feel a bit more secure in them. It seems that for a lot of non-freya bikinis, to have a wide choice I need to sister size to a 30F/FF, although the Cleo Pippa and Dolly have caught my eye, and have good size ranges, 28-38, D-H/J, so watch this space :)

-Amy

More strapless bras; Wonderbra ultimate strapless, Gossard egoboost and Freya deco shape longline

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In terms of a strapless bra, I decided to sell the Ewa Michalak Mczelny, which I reviewed here and find something better fitting. I don’t ask much from a strapless bra, I want the cups to fit, the band to stay put and a rounded shape from the side.  Firstly, I was recommended by a few people to try the Wonderbra Ultimate Strapless, I got it in nude in 30F, the cups are known to run small but I was buying from asos.com who only stock up to F cup.

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Band: unstretched 24.4″, stretched 27.3″

Cup width: 6.5″ Depth: 8.7″

So the cups are maybe, possible, just a touch too small, but the band is good in a 30, I could possibly even wear a 32. I didn’t bother to try a cupsize up in this because as you can see, the height of the cups is all wrong and looks pretty awful, and isn’t exactly comfortable.

Next I tried the Gossard egoboost, also in 30F. This is a much better fit on me, the cups are spot on, the band is not as tight as the wonderbra but doesn’t slide down, and the cup shape gives me a nice cleavage, and great shape under tight clothes.

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Band: 24.2″ unstretched, 29.2″ stretched

Cup width: 6.1″, depth 8.3″

There is hooks for straps, but I tried this as a t shirt bra and it gave a bit of a shelf-boob for me under non-strapless tops.

As a fan of the deco, and a fan of longline bras, I just had to try the deco shape longline, which is a multiway/strapless, this time in 28FF. First off the band is tighter than anything else by Freya, and stays put nicely. The cups are a bit more full coverage than the deco plunge or half-cup, and give a really rounded shape without cleavage.  There is a variety of strap placement possible, both on the front and back there is 2 strap hooks at each side, which is a good option.

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 Band: unstretched 24″ stretched 27.8″

Cup width: 5.6″ depth: 9″

I am going to be keeping the Gossard and the Deco, because I really, really cannot decide which I like best. The gossard is the most comfortable, and I am a cleavage fan, but the Deco is a longline and I’d wear it as a top with high waisted shorts/skirts in summer, I suppose two strapless options isn’t a bad thing.

-Amy

Plus Size Bra Review: Bravissimo Betsy Bow

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I tried the Betsy Bow bra from Bravissimo in a 38JJ and in a 38K; The 38JJ was too small in the cups. Here are the photos of the 38K

 

IMG_3707 IMG_3708 IMG_3710

 

Features: Fully adjustable straps, 3 part cup construction, bows on straps and gore, 3 sets of 3 hooks and eyes in a 38K, wide wires, low under arm

Fit: The fit in the 38K was actually perfect. The gore laid flat, the cups were smooth and did not cut in, and I filled out the bottom fairly well. I was really happy that Bravissimo’s wires worked so well for my shape. The band in the 38 was comfortable and was supportive.

Support and Shape: The shape in the Betsy Bow is very up front, swooped up looking, with quite a bit of projection. Overall, I returned this because I was not a fan of the shape. Also, because this is a 3-part cup construction with low wires on the side, my migrated tissue would not stay put. I really need a 4-part cup construction with side slings or at the very least with taller wires on the sides. The straps were really quite stretchy, which I was surprised about.

Look and Feel: The bra itself is quite adorable. I love the bright magenta in contrast to the shell color of the bra. The materials were soft; the lower part of the cup was a sturdy material that provided more support. The upper cup does not have any stretch at all, so if you are full on top, you will probably want to size up.

Other thoughts: Overall, I was really surprised by how small Bravissimo’s bras run in the cup. I also tried the Darling Heart (which I will review soon) and it was too small in a 38K. I thought that Curvy Kate won first place in small cups, but Bravissimo is taking 1st place. If you want to try this, I would suggest sizing up 1-2 cup sizes from your “normal” size (i.e. Panache size).

Overall Grade: B+ 

-Nicole

World Premiere Review: Sculptresse “Bellise”

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The Bellise is available in the following sizes: 36 F-J, 38 E-J, 40 DD-J, 42 D-J, 44-46 D-HH and matching panties up to a US size 22 ish (6XL)

The Bellise is available in the following sizes: 36 F-J, 38 E-J, 40 DD-J, 42 D-J, 44-46 D-HH and matching panties up to a US size 22 ish (6XL

 

Aren't these the cutest tags ever?!

Aren’t these the cutest tags ever?!

I am SO excited to be doing this review! To be honest, I have about 7 other bras to review that I’ve had for a few weeks and I am holding off on them because I am just so excited for the new Sculptresse line :-) Also, I’m the first to actually do a review of this bra (Holly did a quick overview on the TLA) and I was tickled pink to be the first user to add measurements for a Sculptresse bra < /nerd moment>

To be honest, these bras are HARD TO FIND. I actually hunted down a 40J on eBay and paid about $56.00 for it from the UK. I debated on ordering matching panties right away because they look a little short for my tastes, and I wanted to make sure I loved the bra.

**Disclaimer: When I received this bra, the red bow on the center gore had “fallen off” and was in the packaging for the bra. I placed it on top of the gore for photo purposes. I plan on either (a) selling this bra, or (b) sending it back to the eBay seller I bought it from…**

And now for my pictures:

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Not swooped and scooped; cups lay flat and shape is fairly nice

Not swooped and scooped; cups lay flat and shape is fairly nice

Swooped and scooped and strange things happen with the cups

Swooped and scooped and strange things happen with the cups

A bird's eye view; the cups are not deep enough next to the center gore and I get this sad, sad shape. I need to size up in the cups.

A bird’s eye view; the cups are not deep enough next to the center gore and I get this sad, sad shape. I need to size up in the cups.

BUT, if I pull the cup up towards the strap, reducing the slack in the material, the shape is better. Hmmm....

BUT, if I pull the cup up towards the strap, reducing the slack in the material, the shape is better. Hmmm….

The review! :-)

Features: Fully adjustable, half padded straps, padded set of 3 hooks and eyes (3 rows), bow on center gore, eyelash lace at top of the cup, red contrast hardware, 3 part seamed cups, awesome materials

 

It can be hard to see, but the materials that the band was made of were so LUXE. Soft, thick and comfortable. The band did not flip at all.

It can be hard to see, but the materials that the band was made of were so LUXE. Soft, thick and comfortable. The band did not flip at all.

 

Fit: As discussed in the captions of some of the photos, I think that I would have to either size up or alter this bra to make it work for me. The cups are fairly shallow next to the center gore, so I get a weird v-shape, even thought there is still slack in the cups. When I pulled the material up towards the strap, I had no double boob and no more weird v-shape. The band was delightfully snug and comfy in a 40; comparable to the band on the Andorra. The band was also quite deep (6″!!!) which I found to be very comfortable and I was very happy with it.  The center gore was the PERFECT height for me, and it laid flush against my sternum.

Wire Height and Width: The wires were a really great height for me (I’m 5’4″); and the width was really great for my boobs. I have a lot of migrated tissue and the wires were perfect for keeping things in place. The wires on this were taller on the side than the Andorra but were not as wide.

Support and Shape: The support was what I have come to expect of Panache bras, which is always fantastic. The shape was a little east and west which has a lot to do with the fact that this is a 3-part cup construction without a side sling. To be honest, I was surprised that for their full figure line, they did not include side slings to project breast tissue forward. When I put this on, my husband said “It makes your boobs look small!” So, there’s that as well. As you can see in the non-swoop and scoop photo, the shape is fairly similar to the shape that you might get in the Andorra, and other Panache non-padded bras.

Look and Feel: This bra is gorgeous and it is really made with fantastic materials. Admittedly, I’m a little disappointed by how much bra there is. It’s considered a “balconnet” bra, which I’m learning in Panache speak means “FULL CUP BRA”. I loved how comfortable the band was. It is a slightly banded bra (meaning there is some band underneath the wires), but it did not irritate my tummy. The arch in the center is perfect for high tummy’d ladies like myself.

This bra’s measurements: 

  • Unstretched band: 33″
  • Stretched band: 39″
  • Cup Width: 8″
  • Cup depth: 15.5″
  • Wire length: 17.5″
  • Wing height: 6″
  • Center gore height:  4.5″
  • Center gore width: 1″

Pros: Wide, lower wires, full cup, comfortable materials, fully adjustable and half padded straps, design aesthetic, nice gore height, the very deep band which felt supportive and comfortable

Cons: Shallow near center gore, center gore is wider than other Panache bras which usually are about 3/4″ wide, where this was 1″ wide

Final thoughts: For my first experience with Sculptresse, I am quite pleased. I do hope that Panache continues to expand this range (in style and sizes), and I look forward to trying more.

Grade: A

 

**Notes: Unfortunately, this is the only bra from Sculptresse I’ll be able to try without going extensively into sister sizing as this is the only style that goes up to a J cup in any of the band sizes. I have a 42J and matching panties on order to see if the crazy cup shape goes away in the next cup size up.

 

-Nicole

 

 

 

 

National Infertility Awareness Week April 22-27th

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I’ve debated with myself many, many times about whether I wanted to write about this topic on the blog. Does it have a whole lot to do with bras? No. But it is an important women’s issue that I think gets overlooked often. And I am quite passionate about bringing light to this epidemic and sharing information with others so that they understand it better.

1 in 6 couples needs assistance conceiving. You are not considered “infertile” until you have been trying to conceive for more than a year.

My husband and I are no different. We started trying to conceive in September 2011. You’d think it would just be a matter of timing and putting the parts together, but no….for us, it has not been that easy. I had a miscarriage in April of last year (2012), but have not had any positive tests since then.  Around the time my best friend told me that she was pregnant in November 2012 and I spiralled into a deep depression, my husband and I decided that we needed to see a specialist. In January of this year, we finally met with a specialist and so far we have only had diagnostics done. All of our results have come back normal, and we’re still waiting. I had a test done in late January that was supposed to enhance fertility for 3 cycles; well…no luck with that either.

It’s hard to describe to people how it all feels. You feel alone. Angry. Confused. Hurt. Heart broken. With every month that passes, I keep thinking “What am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me?”. And there’s no answer. You build up hope that this is going to be the month that you get pregnant – every single month – and every single month you have to go through the grieving process again. It’s the most heart wrenching, exhausting experience ever. I would never wish it upon anyone.

Even harder are the comments that you get from other people. “You just need to relax.” or “It’s not your time yet.” or “Maybe God has a different plan for you.”  To that I say this: No. Your comments are insensitive, infuriating and upsetting. They belittle what we and many others who struggle with infertility are going through.

So… what I really wanted to do was share some great resources that I think every man and woman should read. If you’re struggling with infertility, these things will make you feel like “Someone finally gets it.” and if you have a friend that’s infertile, perhaps they will give you a perspective other than your own, and help you to figure out what to say and how to be supportive.

Ten Words that Describe Infertility

Infertility Etiquette

Resolve.org is a fantastic non-profit organization that seeks to get the word out there about infertility. If you are going through infertility issues, look no further. Resolve has a network of support groups across all states and there will be options for you. Just pick your state and see if there are any in your city. OR you can volunteer to host a peer-led support group :-)

I know how hard it is to talk to family and friends…..to read about someone getting pregnant, going to a baby shower, or seeing a birth announcement (My best friend’s baby shower is the day after my birthday, and it breaks my heart just thinking about going…. I know. Worse yet will probably be the gift shopping)

Please share the above links with everyone you know…..and please check out Resolve’s website and find out what you can do to help.

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Clicking this picture will take you to Resolve.org

-Nicole

Review: Curvy Kate Desire 28FF

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I have not got on well with curvy kate in the past, I have tried the tease me, the tempt me and the elegance, had no luck with their loose bands and wide wires. I tried this because I want me and kate to be friends, her bras are so cute, and I have my eye on the starlet petrol for autumn.

Photo on 16-04-2013 at 23.51

Again with the poor quality pictures, I know, I’ll have a real camera next week.

This is a multiway plunge bra, available in black or white, with a subtle pattern on the cups and a little bow…..thingy in the middle. The straps are thick, really long, fully adjustable and easy to switch around.

Band: 22″ unstretched, 28″ stretched

Cup width 5.3″, depth 8″

Side wing 2.7″, gore height 1.6″

Compared to the other CKs I tried in the past, the wires are a bit narrower (yey) and shorter (yey) and the band is true to size (yey). The band is also 3 hook fastening, the same width across and quite thick.  So far so good.

Photo on 16-04-2013 at 23.52 #2

The bra is just not a great shape for me (boo), the top edge of the cup seems to me made for a full on bottom shape, and gives me an odd shelf-like appearance that doesn’t come across so much in pictures. I know I have some quadboobing but there’s also space in the bottom of the cup, that won’t stay where it’s supposed to because of the lengthy straps. If you find yourself tightening straps a lot, be wary.

Photo on 16-04-2013 at 23.52

It works a bit better as a halterneck for me, the strap is really comfy around my neck and the cups easily lend themselves to the halterneck shape without digging in/ making armpit fat like others tend to do.

Photo on 16-04-2013 at 23.54

Fit 6/10, cups run small.

Appearance on me 5/10. Someone more full on bottom might get a better shape with this.

Fitting 101: That’s So Tacky

by

Today’s post in the fitting 101 series discusses the importance of a properly tacking center gore, and some general trouble shooting tips for gores that aren’t so tacky.

Let me start with some visual aids :-)

A properly tacking gore looks like this: 

38JJ

Completely flat against the chest

38K

 

An improperly tacking gore looks like this:

IMG_2173

Does not rest between the breasts

 

IMG_2171

So why should the center gore tack against your sternum? Although there are some companies like Braologie that insist that the center gore tacking is not necessary, I believe that in order to have the best fit and support, your center gore should tack between your breasts.

The benefits of a tacky gore:

  • If your gore is tacking, that generally means you have the right cup size, so your wires are not sitting on breast tissue, which can be painful otherwise
  • When it sits flat on your sternum, you will have clear separation between your boobs. Yay for two boobs instead of 1. or 4. (or more, really)
  • If your gore is properly tacking, it won’t be visible under your clothing
  • You’ll get the best lift out of a bra with wires that tack against your sternum and ribcage properly

Admittedly, I think that a less tacky gore is the first compromise many women make when trying to find a good fit. The reality is that even in your proper size, the center gore may not always tack to your sternum….but do not fret….here’s some simple trouble shooting:

Reasons your gore may not be tacky:

  • You’ve done the swoop and scoop, and now you not only have double boob, but your gore isn’t sitting flat between your breasts. Time to go up 1-2 cup sizes until the double boob goes away, and your gore is tacking
  • You know your cup size is right, but the gore still isn’t tacking…. Is your band too big? Sometimes if the band is too big, there is not enough tension on the wires. The right balance of cup size and band size is important in ensuring a properly tacking center gore
  • I’ve got the right cup size AND band size, and the gore still isn’t sitting flat! Is the gore narrower or wider than the space that you have naturally between your boobs? If the gore of the bra is wider than you have space between your boobs, it most likely will not sit flat. Also, you may have troubles settling your boobs into a bra if the gore is narrower than the natural space between your boobs. Measure the space between your boobs and measure the gore on your bras. Are they the same size?
  • The gore is too tall or too short for your boobs. I know that for me, if a gore is too tall, it won’t tack, no matter what size I try. You’ll have to try a lot of different bras to really get a feel for the ideal height of the gore for your body, but it’s worth it to figure it out.
  • If you’ve done all of the above and your gore still isn’t tacking, you may need to try a different cut of bra. For example, if you always have problems with your gores being too tall in full cup bras, why not try a balconette, or a plunge?

Side bar:

***If your gore is not tacking, do this to find out if you have the right cup size: With the bra on, use your fingers and push the gore flat against your sternum. If you have double boob anywhere – including under your arms, go up in cup size until the gore sits flat. If you do not have double boob when you do this, try and determine if the wires are too wide, if the gore is too tall, or if it is an issue of bra shape.**

As always, if you have any questions/comments/or suggestions, please leave them in the comments below

-Nicole